How Not to Get on an Airplane

There’s something that bothers me about my husband – his wallet. It’s literally bursting at the seams, because he carries around pretty much every card he has ever received. There’s a Club Sobeys card in there even though there is no longer a club. (Sobeys discontinued that program 4 years ago.) His expired Club Sobeys card has travelled the world. He took it to Iceland – even though there are no Sobeys stores there. It’s also been to Greenland, Mexico, Cuba and Belize. And that card didn’t get any special treatment. There are other useless cards in there too including a driver’s license from 1979 with a picture of him with long flowing hair.

Perhaps it annoys me because he always puts his wallet in the carry-on bag that I carry when we travel together. He carries the camera bag and I get the miscellaneous items bag. That means that technically, I’m the one carrying around the wallet of expired cards on our trips.

I never thought I’d be grateful for that stupid wallet, until yesterday. Here’s what happened on our trip from Calgary to Halifax…

Greg: “Did you pack the passports?”
Me: “Nope. We don’t need passports for an inter-provincial flight. We can use our driver’s licenses for ID to get on the plane.”

When my husband passed his license to the airline rep at the gate, she pointed out that it was expired and he couldn’t use it for ID to get on the plane. (In a cost saving move a few years ago, the government of Alberta quit notifying people when their driver’s licenses were expiring.)

We left the main boarding line and entered another “special” line. (Never a good sign…)

Greg: “You should have brought the passports!” (Somehow this was my fault…)

Airline attendant: “Do you have two other forms of government issued identification?”

I pulled out the wallet from the miscellaneous items carry-on bag with a hopeful look. Greg dug around in there and found his provincial health care card. The airline attendant said that would be acceptable. Phew! We just needed to find one more form of government issued ID.

Airline attendant: “How about a social insurance card?”
Greg: “I don’t keep my social insurance card in this wallet.” (A couple of years ago, Greg misplaced his wallet. When he found it again, I suggested he remove the SIN and put it somewhere else. That way if he lost his wallet, he wouldn’t lose every piece of ID he owned. “You’ll never need to show a SIN,” I had said. Apparently, I was wrong.)

The tension was mounting as Greg frantically pulled out cards from the hidden recesses of his wallet. “How about an Alberta fishing license?” he asked hopefully.
“That should work!” said the airline attendant.

He pulled it out and we checked the expiry date – 2017. Oh ##@@@!!! Yet another expired card.

Just when all hope seemed to be lost, he dug deep and found a Firearm Possession and Acquisition License. It even had his photo on it.

Greg: “Will this work?”
Airline attendant: “Yes, you can board now.”

Moral of the story? None. Realizations: 

1. Greg’s been driving for a year-and-a-half with an expired license. (He said it feels like he’s missing a year of his life. I said it’s more like a year-and-a-half.)

2. Greg drove all over Iceland in a rental vehicle with an expired license.

3. You can get on an airplane with a PAL (Firearm Possession and Acquisition License). Who knew?

 

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